It's official! I need boobs (and a vagina)

No, I am not talking about fulfilling my sexual desires. Or any kinky tranny fantasies.

I considered (note past tense already) contesting the soon to be held BBMP Elections in Bangalore. I wanted to do some research on my home council and my chances of winning (given that I speak very little Kannada and that my target voters are English understanding, educated middle-class). I trawled the State Election Commission website to get details about where my ward/council is located. It is 195 - Konnankunte.

This is located in South Bangalore. Some initial analysis gave me some promising numbers. 31 parts, a total of 38608 registered voters (20381 male, 18227 female). Assuming that turnout is about 65% and of that if 40% votes are needed for victory, one would need about 10,000 votes to win. Not impossible, considering that there are 2-3 large apartment complexes in the ward which would be my target voter base. I chalked out a strategy as well. Print 15,000 flyers promoting myself. A couple of YouTube videos, which would hopefully go viral. A television / print interview if I am very lucky. I started having the right ideas.

But wait! Can I actually contest? So, I checked the rules list. There lay the sucker punch.

1. Every person whose name is in the list of voters for any of the wards of the municipal area shall, unless disqualified under this Act or any other law for the time being in force, be qualified to be elected at the election for that ward or any other ward of the minicipal area and every person whose name is not in such list shall not be qualified to be elected, at the election for any ward of the minicipal area:

Provided that a person shall not be qualified to be elected-

(a) To a seat reserved for Scheduled Castes or Scheduled Tribes unless he is amemeber of any of those castes or tribes;

(aa) to a seat reserved for Backward Classes, unless he is a member of such classes.

(b) to a seat reserved for women unless such person is a woman.

Umm...quick check. Is my seat reserved for SC/ST/BC/Woman? Let's have a quick look.Oh, wait, I cannot read Kannada (sorta dashes my hopes to win anyway). Scroll to 195...that's it...General...yes..but wait..what's that? General (Women). Ah fark.

So, by virtue of affirmative action policy, today I am unable to contest in council elections. I've also been denied the chance to study medicine. Or even think about pursuing a career in the civil services. For all practical purposes, I am among the millions who face reverse discrimination everyday in India. Thank you, India.

If only I had boobs.